Daughters of Promise Day 3: Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
Are you struggling with you fruitfulness, join us as we journey through the seven day devotional: Daughters of Promise. Access Day 3 here: Discussion for Day 3
About Daughters of Promise:
Daughters of Promise is a devotional study that focuses on women in the bible who were barren but later received children. The study posits that though one may be destined for great things there is a process for different individuals and this process might cause some form of discouragement. Key principles are emphasized from scripture that women should be guided by to live fruitful lives. At the end of each lesson is a reflective guide that will assist the reader in self-evaluation. If you are a woman who is packed with promise but has lost hope in walking in your purpose, this study is for you.
“For the vision is yet for an appointed time, but at the end it shall speak, and not lie: though it tarry, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not tarry.” Habakkuk 2:3
As people of faith, the above scripture offers comfort in the fact that when God makes us a promise it will happen for He is not a man that he should lie (Numbers 23:19). We get visions, dreams and prophetic words, and at first we are so in awe and we believe that God spoke to us. But as time goes by, and nothing seems to be happening, we start wondering if it was God.
This doubt has been around for ages. In this devotional study we will look at several barren women in the Bible who made it to their promises. Many of these women suffered much to get to the place God had for them. The key and most essential thing to note however, is that they made it. If they got their promise, so can you.
Navigating Single Life- Book Launch and Review
The road travelled by singles can sometimes be rugged, parched, and confusing. Yet it is one of the most meaningful experiences one could ever have. Beyond what seems to be anguish and confusion, is light. God’s light to guide us to our destinies. There are bumps in the road, but the Lord provides guidance as we navigate each path. Navigating speaks to planning and directing a course of travel. Navigating Single Life provides one perspective based on biblical principles delivered through the point of view of a single woman. Much of what is shared comes from real experiences, some of which were painful, but now have risen to glorify God. We overcome by the word of our testimony and so I felt it necessary to share what has helped me on my single journey. In this book, singleness is explored as a period of transition. I look at setting right expectations, weak or low moments, questions that arise, self-inflicted pain, prophesies of a spouse and transitioning from singleness.
Watch the Video Here: LAUNCH VIDEO
Expectations for Marriage
“And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28).
Maybe you have had several attempts at failed relationships and all you want right now is someone to love you right. The last thing you want to hear is, “Singleness is working for my good”. You are over this single life. You get annoyed when the married folk say enjoy your singleness and feel like they are selfish and do not want you to enjoy the spoils of marriage. I totally understand this sentiment. So take it from the heart of a real single woman, who have suffered real hurt but has triumphed through it all to blossom into a place of God’s fruitfulness, God will work it for your good.
Your hurts were hard teaching moments. The wrong people helped you in determining the right ones. Today, is a new opportunity to take all the rocks that bowled you over, to build an altar where you can meet with God. Yeah, I know, you have prayed about it. You have wept over it, but if you are still frustrated by it, it was not dealt with. There is also a great chance that you have not been honest about it.
Frustration occurs when despite our best efforts, our expectations are never met. I encourage you today, you can win. You will win. Instead of just praying about the delayed success in your best efforts, seek God for what your expectations should be. Why? Because He has your best interest at heart. Further, if God gives you an expectation, it will come to fruition. Thou it tarries wait on it. God cannot lie. Check your own expectations against His. If they do not match, it could be that your expectations will never be met. While we can force things and get our way it will come at a cost, leanness. The blessings of the Lord make rich and adds no sorrow to it (Proverbs 10:22). It is therefore important that our expectations for a relationship are grounded in God.
Relationships were meant to be beautiful. From the beginning God established relationships. When He made Adam, he gave him Eve because it was not good for man to be alone (Genesis 2: 18). God also communed with Adam in the cool of the day. It is God’s intention from Genesis to establish relationship between God and man, and between man and man. This has not changed. After man’s fall, He sent His son to die on the cross and reconcile us unto Himself (2 Corinthians 5: 18-19). Jesus the true husbandman will return to take His bride the church.
In the beginning, God put man to sleep and took his companion from his side (Genesis 2: 21-23). Man was sacrificed to bring forth woman. He was no longer alone. Christ was also sacrificed to bring forth the church, His bride. He suffered for us putting His human will aside (Luke 22: 42). There is a clear pattern. A man must be willing to submit to God’s will and sacrifice for his bride/wife. This is what God established. Relationships are therefore important to God, both laterally and vertically. The foundation of our relationship expectations should be built from understanding this. A man had to give of himself to take to himself a bride. Does this still happen in our society? Is the woman seen as a treasure taken from the man? Do men still participate in cultivating their bride?
Excerpt from my upcoming book, Navigating Single Life
Until then,
Stay Sweetly Saved
Don’t Jump to Conclusions
In a dream, I was having dinner with two friends at their house. It was as if the walls of the house disappeared and we could see clearly what was happening on the street. A man was electrocuted and one of my friends immediately thought that it was because of their security system and disarmed it. Another man standing on the street saw him disarming it and turned to the person he was walking with as if to indicate that my friend had something to do with the man’s electrocution. Then within the dream I had a vision of what actually happened. The man was on the roof of a house directly across the street. He hit a wire and somehow was shocked and propelled unto the street beside my friend’s house. None of us (the other men on the street, my two friends and I) actually saw what happen and the man was dead.
As I reflected on the dream- I realised that it’s so easy for us to draw incorrect conclusions from what we see. My friend saw the man suffering from electrocution wounds on the sidewalk beside his house and assumed it was because of a malfunction in his security system, when in fact it had nothing to do with the man’s situation. Then someone else saw him acting guilty and also assumed that my friend was guilty. This is very similar to how many rumours start. Someone sees you hurting and automatically assume that they know what is wrong with you. Or it could be you made a post and someone automatically believe it’s about them and their situation that you have absolutely no clue about. Or it might be assumed that a relationship is more than what it is because you spend time together. You get the idea.
What makes it worst, when we see with our eyes even if it’s not the entire story we never stand corrected. We don’t want to hear it because we believe we have the truth, when we only have a piece of the puzzle. Let’s not be quick to jump to a conclusion on any matter. The word of the Lord declares, “so do not go on passing judgment before the appointed time, but wait until the Lord comes, for He will both bring to light the [secret] things that are hidden in darkness and disclose the motives of the hearts” (1 Cor. 45). Let’s also not hast to talk about things we don’t know for sure the word declares that there are more hope for fools than those who are hasty in speech (Proverbs.29:20).
Until next time stay sweetly saved!
Goodbye Frustrations :)
I have often read or listened to individuals speak about the Children of Israel in the wilderness and how this journey was extended because they murmured. Though I’m not making excuses for them, I can to some extent imagine their frustration, as on so many occasions they had to leave their comfort zones. It was one thing after another. When it wasn’t a great sea in front of them, there was no drinking water or they hungered and the list went on. The thing is when we are frustrated we don’t really see miracles. We only see a temporary relieve, while bracing ourselves for what will come next. Our eyes become trained to see everything that is going wrong and it would almost appear that nothing ever goes right. Sounds familiar? It should, because we have all at some point been guilty of this.
As a trained internal auditor, I was told that when I audit a department, I shouldn’t do it looking for non-conformance or what was done incorrectly. But I should instead study the manuals and procedures and look for conformance. In the event that something does not conform, I should then document the same. Similarly, Christians are to seek God’s manual for their lives. We do so by seeking His will in prayer, fasting and reading of His word. When we know and operate in God’s will for us, we will view the challenges of life differently. We will accept our processes though they are most times difficult knowing that we will receive a crown at the end.
Saying all of that to say this, instead of always seeking God or your own way to remedy your frustration (treating symptoms), get the solution that will prevent frustrations from forming (treating the cause). Find God’s will for your life, accept it, embrace it and walk in it. It will be the most liberating thing you have ever done.
Expect the Unexpected
As men we are most times limited by what we know and our expectations are therefore guided by our realities.
Abraham and Sarah didn’t expect at their age to become natural parents and so they laughed (Gen.17:17; Gen. 18:12). Did God not bless them with Isaac? We must therefore walk by faith.
The people of Noah’s day didn’t expect the flood, but it came (2 Peter 2:3). We must live right for no man knows the hour.
Gideon didn’t expect an army of 300 men to defeat the enemy’s great army, but they did (Judges 7-8). We must be courageous.
When the Children of Israel were caught between the Red Sea and the Egyptian army coming to destroy them, they probably expected that they were going to die. But the God of heaven caused them to cross over on dry ground (Exodus 14:22). We must trust God!
When Jacob went to meet Esau for the first time after stealing his birthright, he was fearful. He expected his brother to avenge what he did, but he forgave him (Genesis 32). We must forgive others.
The widow that was fixing her last meal to die, never expected to live beyond those days, but because of her obedience she was sustained (1 Kings 17). We must be obedient to the word of God.
Zacharias was in unbelief when the angel told him his wife would bring forth a son (John). His speech was taken from him for his unbelief (Luke 1). On the other hand, Hannah petitioned God fervently and received her miracle (1 Samuel 1). Is anything too hard for God (Jeremiah 32:27)? Sign and wonders follow Christians, it’s a trade mark. Expect the Unexpected.
Wrote this a while back, hope you were encouraged.
Stay Sweetly Saved
Stop Lying to Yourself
“To ease another’s heartache is to forget one’s own.”
― Abraham Lincoln
This captures a phenomenon of burying one’s self in the hurts of others as a distraction from our own internal issues. We all wish we could just forget that hurt that we thought we never deserved. We do many things to convince ourselves that we don’t need to deal with our issues. All we need to do is move on. I unknowing practiced this. I didn’t realize how I shoved my feelings and emotions aside, diving into a sea of activities and people that created the perfect distraction. I was lying to myself. Helping others yet dying inside.
Finally at the point of exhaustion I realized that the wounds were still there and they had become dangerously serious. They took deep roots. I placed a Band-Aid over a cut that required stitches. It got infected and the only treatment was to remove the band aid, clean out the wound, dress it and allow time to heal.
We fool ourselves when we believe that just because we mask our insecurities that all is well. All is not well. You are lying to yourself. The word of God declares that the truth shall make you free (John 8:32). Jesus is the truth (John 14:6) and whom he sets free, is free indeed (John 8:36). So I beg of you, remove the Band-Aid you placed over that sore that has now become infected. Allow Jesus to clean the wound and dress it. You will be healed in His time.
Many of us don’t receive healing because we lack truth. But He desires truth in the inward parts. When nobody sees he desires truth. Once we pour out the bitterness, hurt, anger and discontentment in our worship. Asking Him to heal us He will transform our lives. Then will He birth greatness from our process. That’s what He did for me. “All things work together for GOOD” Romans 8:28.
Hurt and pain are natural, but we have a Comforter who through the Spirit will mend our broken lives back again. Try Him today. He is waiting.
Get Your Own oil
“But the wise answered, saying, Not so; lest there be not enough for us and you: but go ye rather to them that sell, and buy for yourselves” (Mt. 25:9).
There comes a time when we have to take a decision that may seem un-Christian to others. We are encouraged to be kind and to share yet we see in this parable that the wise virgins though they had extra oil, decided not to share with the other virgins less there was not enough after a while. They didn’t want to run out of oil and miss the coming of the Bridegroom. Running out of oil would mean that they were left in darkness, a place Christians should never be because we are children of light (Eph. 5:8: 1Thes. 5:5).
The ten virgins were all waiting for the bridegroom. They were all believers walking together. This reminds me of how we sometimes walk with others that we view as like minded saints, who are also looking for the coming of the Savior. In a similar sense, they don’t have any extra oil and constantly borrow from you until eventually you feel empty and drained and there is little to no more oil in your lamp. Learn to say no to people who constantly rob you of your oil.
Consistency in our walk does not only speak to our prayer life and communion with God, but it also speaks to how we interact with everything and everyone else. I find that when I’m around some people, I’m highly motivated and feel reassured in God, but then when around others for extended periods, I’m just drained. I have taken a decision to better manage my environment. I learned to say get your own oil while maintaining my oil store. Always ensure that you have extra oil by keeping a constant prayer life, reading of the word and fellowshipping with God. Don’t punch in and out with God. Your relationship with Him is not a timecard job.
I encourage you all to keep you flames lit. Don’t get burnt out because others failed to prepare. God is coming soon. Let us all be ready and waiting- its not time to be running back to the shop to get oil. He can appear “in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye” (1 Cor. 15:52).
God Bless you!
Stay Sweetly Saved
Sweetly Saved Sista 